Jennifer Zamparelli: ‘People ask why I didn’t leave my abusive ex and the simple fact is that I loved him’

Speaking to the Sunday Independent ahead of co-presenting the new series of RTÉ’s Dancing with the Stars (DWTS), the 43-year-old took a deep breath when recalling the abuse.

“He had a lot of problems and there was addiction issues,” she says, but on the flip side: “He was a very charming person. Always the fun guy. Great on a night out.”

When his dark side emerged, “there was this turn in him — and he always took it out on me”.

Now happily married for eight years to husband Lauterio, the couple have two children together, Florence and Enzo.

Looking back on the warning signs from her time with her ex, she says: “I remember the day he told me that he had never had a good relationship with his mother and that he had hit her once.” She instinctively knew “this is a red flag”, adding: “I chose to ignore it.”

It was only after they broke up that she reflected on the times she should have called it a day. “I said, well that was a major red flag that I completely ignored because I believed all the bullshit that came after it.”

Zamparelli advises others to listen to how their partner “talks about women”, adding: “Especially their own mother.” If you notice them complain that “all their ex-girlfriends are bitches or a problem” then you have a cause for concern.

The presenter will be supporting the Stand Strong campaign on behalf of Women’s Aid. Supported by Allianz, the social media-led initiative will raise awareness and funds to support the one in four women affected by domestic violence.

On the reaction she has received since telling her story, Zamparelli says: “There were a lot of messages from people who had been in similar situations. People were coming to me on an office floor, stopping me on the street.”​

She pinpoints shame as the primary emotion that stops people asking for help. “I didn’t want to hear ‘I told you so’ or ‘why didn’t you leave earlier’. People in that situation just really need to be heard and they need support and they need a person to say: ‘I’m here for you. What do you need?’​

“A lot of people used to say to me: ‘Why didn’t you leave?’ The simple fact is because I loved him.”

Zamparelli believed he was going to change, she wanted to help him and she believed it when he said he was sorry.

Of her reasons for going public, she says: “I did it for my nieces, my friends, I did it for the listener and I did it for my daughter.

“I wanted to let people know that this can happen but you can come out the other side and have a successful relationship and a successful life and it doesn’t have to define you.

“It’s part of my story but it’s not my whole story. I have worked my ass off in this industry.

“I am a self-employed businesswoman, I have a new hair salon and I have my own business which allows me to do my radio presenting and work with DWTS independently.

“And I don’t think I would have survived in this industry if I didn’t have a business background, because you need to be quiet savvy.”

She hosts her 2FM show for three hours every morning from Monday to Friday from 9am, and is on her second season of DWTS which begins next Sunday on RTÉ One. She has fronted her own comedy show The Republic of Telly, and presented The Apprentice. She also hosts a popular parenting podcast with friend and fellow broadcaster Lottie Ryan.

But “there are way more jobs that I didn’t get in RTÉ... I would have loved to have done The Saturday Night Show and they went with Angie [Angela Scanlon] but in hindsight she was perfect and she did a phenomenal job.”​

Zamparelli is one of a handful of RTÉ stars not signed to agent Noel Kelly and she says: “I think there is only me and two other people who are not with him. We are very few. We are a rare breed.

“I take great pride in not being with Noel Kelly. It makes me very happy and very proud because you don’t need to be with agent Noel Kelly to succeed in this industry.”

On her reason for not signing with him she says: “I will save it for the book. Whoever is with him, that is their choice. But let’s just say it is just not an agency for me. And I doubt I will have any dealings with him in the future.

“I am sure there are really good people that work there but all I am saying is that it is not for me.”​

If you have been affected by these issues contact Women’s Aid’s 24 hour freephone helpline on 1800 341 900. Go to standstrong.ie to get involved in the Women’s Aid social media campaign.